roll on the good life

2010 will consist of:

- losing weight (alof of)

- finishing my list

- getting a boyfriend

- moving house

- sorting out my life

- and getting a proper job

- and possibly going to uni

i cant wait for this utterly shit year to be over once and for all

and i finally get things back on track

just me and my nat and my bizzle and my antz

all happy again :) i cant wait

roll on.. roll up

so theres this guy yeah?

i thought it would take me forever

but after a very long talk with clare & my bizzle

ive come to such good realisations.

i love him but im not in love with him

i need him around but i dont need him

and he's my best friend no matter what

im glad :) im happy knowing im not living in pathetic hope
but i met this guy

hes 23, he can play the piano and the trumpet

hes got a degree in biochemistry

he collects japanese toys and reads comics

he has 45mm tunnels and a split tongue

5 facial piercings and some ink

he's 5"10 and plays yugioh

his name?

andrew wilson

and im falling for him

he holds my hand and gives me butterflies

jagermeister & nipple tassels

well. between drinking the whole bottle of jager at my nans

balancing a trifle/gateux

parading round in nipple tassels

falling asleep

antz wearing my bra :/ and bizzle filming it

passing out on the couch

waking up to a filthy conversation at stupid times this morning

breaking my hips

drunkenly walking to my mums with clare to get antz a taxi

slipping and sliding down the streets in my dressing gown :/

drinking vodka & vimto with clare

putting a vibrator on my nose

and waking up in absoloute agony

and a cracking hangover..

and now im going to go home

have a shower and do it all again

gloomy bear & army girl are taking on the world

mad friday continued..

i found these on lora's facebook from mad friday

how fucking wasted was i?

i dont even remember these being taken..

(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)

(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)

bekibekibeki

:) i had an amazing christmas eve

my nataliebean came round for pre-amaretto drinkage :D

which was proceded by drinking a bottle of pina colada on the way into town

which was followed by pernod in boulevard

followed by lots of cider and jagerbombs in maximes

between kissing every fucker i can find

chasing andrew all night (he is one sexy sexy boy) (oh, and i need him.. phwoar)

and kissing adam.. =/ odd times

it was fucking amazing. i got hammered and got a lift home at 4.30 this morning

good times.

until i got woke up by the dog licking my face :/ bad times..

i got loads of new stuff :)

and a dressing gown with my name on it. fun (L)

im still full from my christmas dinner and lemon & lime cheesecake :D

im currently sat at my nans with a bottle of jager and some redbull

im going to drink myself into oblivion

and i fucking love it.

then, the peeps are coming round later for a partayyyy and we is gonna get messy

and open presents and play on spacehoppers :D

oh im fucking excited!

come on now sugar..

bring it on bring it on yeahhh

just remember me when youre good to go

i fucking wish i was veronica mars

shes amazing much..

monster stomp

i need either pair of these shoes for christmas

i love iron fist :D

woooowww christmas dude!

ahhhaaa :) finally! a drunken picture of us

even though, once again you cannot see his face!

i will get one.. one day! :P ahhaaa.

i do not remember a single thing from mad friday

i dont even remember this picture being taken until last night!

i was a big dirty, drunken, wobbly mess!

between kissing random guys, falling over and spending £50

i still dont remember a single thing

except for mad friday my nights have been spent under a duvet

eating indian and getting absolutely wasted

poor anthony.. having his alcoholic, druggie friends

how must he cope? :/ i fucking wonder..

by joining in and enjoying himself maybe? :) mwhaha!!

i went to the skin graffiti christmas 'do with antz and jason

ended up bloody areholed and carrying each other home

the friggin idiot left his phone & everything in his jacket when he gave it to bing

his nice gesture ended in shit! lol poor thing worrying his arse off..

sooo :)

all i need to do is finishing buying my pressies then i need to wrap them

and get the flat ready for christmas night

and buy my christmas beer :)

ohhhh.

walking home from his this morning in the snow & a hot chocolate

it was lush

i masturbate when im bored

i love joining stupid groups on facebook :)

it amuses me somewhat.

well. the doctor has uped my doseage of citalopram from 20mg to 30mg

im like a spesh.. im sick of it!

:( mehhhh bad times.

well, once again, ive got loads to say and loads of pictures to upload.

but once again im not on my own laptop lol.

i had my smiley pierced. which looks like this :/

yummeh..

rofl. its not got a horseshoe in it. but its fucking annoying

and hurts like hell

&& i finally got my snakebites finished off.. thank fuck

my face is even for once :D

i actually havent got much more to say that isnt obvious

between drinking my face off, working, being cold and sleeping

i havent dont much else.

im skint and i practically need to buy all my christmas presents still

and my money from my ann summers order comes out tomorrow..

but i have an ann summers party booked on my birthday :) hurrah

and a tattoo appointment on tuesday to finallllyyyyy get my octopus finished off

i hope to have my full half sleeve finished by my birthday :D

i need cuggles.

its gonna be weird being on my own...

3 weeks

christ. ive been having withdrawl symptoms from blogging!

ahhaa :)

been so ill/hungover/cleaning/tired/drinking/working

i havent had time to come to my mums and update.

well. its literally consisted of;

drinking; fucking; sleeping; eating; vodka; coke; up's; vimto; friends; tv; top gear; cleaning; dogs; working; crying; being mega fucked; shopping; signing on; handing over; arguing; drugs; comedowns; nailvarnish; cider; cuggles; hairdye; bleach; macdonalds; bad bad threesome; wii fit; monging; hungry fox; new bed; walking in the rain; new undies; bingo; tea time

and far far farrrrr too many things to mention.

its been a pretty normal 3 weeks, well normal to my standards.

havent seen antz, bizzle or nat as much as i would have liked

nats been working and with dickhead and even though i live with her

i havent seen bizzle as much :(

and i see antz, then he disapears for 3 days lol. typical bloke!

i hate xmas shopping :(

ive spent so much already and ive got nowhere near ending my shopping list!

and its my mums birthday on monday!

mehhhh bleughhh

fuck it. i need a boy..

beki loves jager

i have come to the conclusion that i spend:

to much time under a duvet, being hungover, drinking energy drinks, shopping, in asda, in the shower, on my couch, watching scrubs, watching friends reruns, watching shit films, eating cheesecake & writing lists

and far too much more shit

this week has been so good.

ive spent it all being fuck off my face, drinking & being hungover

this morning was fit (L)

poor bizzle. i know she lives with me, but i feel so sorry for her sometimes having to live with me

couldnt even eat breakfast! ahhaaa :D

i officially had stuart lowe semi naked in my bed ;)

rofllllllzzzz. poor boy. the three of us spend time chatting shit on my couch and watching football factory while stu slept. poor thing.

went into work late aswell lol

ahh well

i might be skint and single. but life is so so so good right now :)

dubstep mashup

my friday consisted of going gettin ready at antz's

drinking until my heart was content.

going out. getting arseholed.

drinking jagerbombs for free. dancing like a mong.

going to indiependence and drinking yet more jager.

going back to antz's and dying a slow and painful alcohol induced death.

i had to be moved in the morning because natalieeee, jess & jamie were going round.

i hated him for moving me. but the last time he left me in bed when natalie came round

i promptly left due to feeling mega fucking awkward! ahhaa.

my saturday consisted of this:

group dodgy pictures, hot guts with piercings, pills, vodka, dubstep, coke, speed

and being totally fucking arseholed.

4 of us curled up on my couch and watched lee evans and died!

it was fucking hilarious. we all looked a sexy mess.

after hardly any sleep (yet again) i went to work for 6 hours

then passed out for about 6 hours on my couch and woke up to a phonecall about working

so i worked 4-12 last night and then took some coke :)

casually. as you do.

his majesty didnt show up.. which is a surpise rofl

and im currently at my mothers doing my washing

and my flat is actually properly clean and hoovered and smells like shake & vac

i fucking love it.

i want some company tonight..

billy talent catch up

the pictures from the gig i promised :)
billy talent. cancer bats & cancerbury. some sexy sexy men (L)

do you like pina colada?

well.

friday was hilarious.

ended up getting £12 tips and 6 shots.

got arseholed! free drugs too :)

wired until 10am on saturday! ;) good times

poor antz had to put up with me in that horrid state.

then i all of a sudden just purely passed out on him

took some fittt pictures from friday

i'll whack them up tomorrow.

not much else has gone on really.

but im in love with ikea :)

&& im staying in tonight by myself and crappy tv

ive had the weirdest phonecalls lately..

weekend.

brad told wadzy i like him!

what the hellll.

i hate him a little bit :(

grr.

work tonight then off to lux

with 33p in my pocket.

just need a quiet night out

where i dont end up being carried home

:) although i do love doing that!

holding the bar all on my own tonight..

bad times

i need to find my memory card so i can start the voodoo website

:)

mini piggy

me & bizzle are gonna get one of these.

i need one. theyre to cute.

we saw them on the telly the other night

i fell in love.

leftover candy

im still eating the horendous amounts of shit thats left at my mums

whilst dogsitting and looking for jobs

today. ive applied for 16 jobs. including phoning up.

im sick of it. because im not gonna get any of them

bed shops. pets at home. bars. cocktail bars. train stations. everything.

im sick of it.

im gonna have to dye my hair back to a normal colour

but i still need some personality

so im thinking going back red.. i like being red

its fitt.

i wanted to go all turquoise. but theres no chance of me getting a job with all blue hair.

meh. i hate this.

doctors appointment on thursday to sort myself out

i hope he can fix me :(

fright night

my weekend has been friggin eventful
it involved: fake blood; stockings & suspenders; doc's; back-combing; malibu; vodka jelly; shots; pear cider; parental underwear; turtle races; jelly fights; rain; chicken nuggets; waiting an hour for a taxi home; losing my keys; dancing like a goon; podium dancing; cuddling; obscene pictures; little & large; goop; GASH; "youre a slag"; hair curling; dead face; hangovers; drag queens; family feuds; freezing cold; scary butlers; silent disco; sneaking natalie into lux; £5 deposits; singing stupidly loud to kings of leon whilst surrounded by silence; lunges; pizza; sidekick; "curdle"; peter andre; smash hits '99; "it'll lose its value"; hidden cigarettes; nazis; sailors; sellouts; 5am phonecalls; and far far farrrrr too much more

its been the best weekend of this year so far.

here are some awful pictures emma took:

podium dancingggg//ive no idea who the scary guy is

slagging it up on friday

me and wadzy on the way into town

dancing like a drunken spaz

the best picture from the whole weekend of me

dirty girl in a clean skirt

BILLY TALENTTTTTTT :D :D :D

I MET THEM I MET THEM I MET THEM!

FUCKING OH MY GODDDD!

i dont think ive ever typed so frantically in my life!

im just waiting for lora to put the pictures up :)

and i met the lead singer from cancer bats

check him out: liam cormier

sexy much? ;)

got a picture with him aswell

and the guys from canterbury :)

it was possibly the best gig ive ever fucking been too.

i was supposed to get the last train home.

but lora's sister rachel offered to drive me home.

and agreed to wait around outside to meet them :D

an hour and finalllyyyy i got to meet my boys.

i cried. physically cried. whilst shaking.

i dont think ive ever been happier! they were so fucking lovely!
:')

&& the lead singer from canterbury kept calling me sweetheart and blew a kiss

it was directed at me and lora

but we decided that i could have the kiss :) because i fancied him more!

rofl.

well well well

im officially a doley. signed on today! :(

i get monies, but i hate going there. i feel so scummy!

friday was not fun times. drank a bottle and a half of malibu and made a fool of myself

at a wedding. bizzle forbade me from wearing stockings! rofl

and lent me some tights. wellll hot guy at the wedding (L) yummeh ;) rofl

thenn onwards to lux. where i continued to drink

and changed my tights to stockings & suspenders ;) rofl

im such a whoreeeeee. i love it!

i got chatted up twice! by 2 different guys who thought i was someone else!

im not having that!

i poured my drink all over katie sloan. the slut.

she will give me dirty looks!

then i ended up doing unspeakable things. :( i dont think ive ever regretted anything more!

bad bad bad times.

then i spent all saturday on the couch watching bbc three.

my new obsession. mwhahaha :D ahhaa.

i worked last night then ended up in baa bar. finding out things i didnt wanna know.

why her? why her? if she thinks im talking to her again after what i told her on friday

then she went and did that with him. she can fuck righttt off!

billy talent tonight kidders :D

so effing excited!

BTFTW!

fucking yeahh boi.

seeing my sexy boys again on monday :D:D phwoarr!

& my clits healed :D

properrrr chuffed much?

helllzzzyeah.

all she does is make me sicker.

im so ill. i can barely speak :(

and i gotta work tonight. but ive kinda got a job at voodoo :D

sooo fucking chuffed.

woopa.

annddddd im totally chuffed that in 5 days i'll be watching billy talent

&&&& the cancer bats :D

with my loraaaa & my emma.

and maybe my nat if shes coming.

and doesnt hate me.

billy talent always makes me feel better

my rooms looking awesomeee btw :)

i'll take some pictures and show you

its sexy as fuck

31 things

i wrote a list last night, of things to do today.

31 things. and by dinner time ive done 9 :)

now i need to ring 2 people to take more of my list.

and i need to go to the laundrettes, to clean the pub, paint my room, clean out the hampsters, give the already painted wall a second coat, put stuff in my wardrobe when its been delivered, hoover up, tidy my flat, paint the hallway, clean the kitchen, get my bedding wahed, paint the woodwork in my room, ring the doctors, ring the job center, handwash my smalls, hang up my clothes, wash the flag, and order a new credit card so i can actually pay money off it :/

they wont accept money to take off my account without the card.

when i cut it up so i cant spend anymore. wtffff? rofl.

and right now. im currently googling how to make space cakes :)

the 3 of us are gonna get full on baked and watch trainspotting :D fuck the world.

full on mashed, its gonna be ace!

and i also need to google how to make pom poms. rofl.

im such a granny :)

and now i can tick another thing off my list.

which was to update my blog :D hurrah. go team.

someone come round mine tonight && keep me company? :) yeah?

hurrah.

catch up & break down

oh my god. my internet browser just fucked up with a massssive blog written down!

:O not fucking happy!

right.

monday: vodka; clit piercings; stupid tattoos; sleeping on the floor; stars; air rifles; potato salad; using the couch as a pillow; sheets; iron arm; bruises; day old curry; bass; this is england; cocks; numbing spray; genitalia; drumsticks; forks; smirnoff; videos; WOW;

tuesday: tattoo's; chicken nuggets; waffles;

friday: morgan spiced; glens; turtles; feet smelling tank; furniture rearranging; blue paint; shower; flowery dress; apple sourz; sambuca; orange vk; 3!oh3; gods a slut; crying; nike jacket; blackcurrant; henry the hoover; "save me"; 2for1; BRAP BRAP; peak hats; lamb of god; indiependence; cherry; shiny objects

saturday/today: chicken panini; wool; work; leapord print thong; egypt pictures; cider; merlin; dogsitting; shoe shopping; updating; facebook; hangover; no sleep; cuddles; kipping on the couch

&& for the rest of tonight. i plan to go home, curl up on the couch and watch telly.

because i am fucked!

aa & en

why are you're blogs dead fucking clever

and mine are dead shit.

rofl. all i ever do if bloody complain

:)

i love you 2. and lora. obvvv's

im not sure i can make it up this week :(

im struggling so much for money its unreal.

i can barely afford to feed myself.

but i shall save up and come asap. for aggges like :)

i wanna go to star dead bad!

and cockpit again. phwoar. lots of geggarssss for me to perv on ;)

yummehh

DIET: THE BEGINNING!

meh. im sick of being fattttttt!

i went swimming with my motherbear today :)

i did ten lengths! rofl :D

then i crashed and burned. im in pain! rofl. im so unfit!

then she made me walk round morrisons for an hour while she shopped

all i did was buy prawns for the turtles! ahhaaa.

poor things. i feel sorry for them having to live with me! :P poor bugars

annnddd i took wilson out for a walk :)

and fucked up my swimming benefits by eating a massive ice cream ;) good times!

im such a n0000b! :D

i hope someeeeone gets out a bad mood with me and actually texts me. moodey fucker!

thats what you get for asking me silly questions when im drunk & in a bad mood.

:(

i cbaaa going to work in 10 minutes.

i cant even have a shower because my mums washing all my towels. 

i feel rate minging! fuck it!

i'll just have to drip dry! :D rofl. like a skank!

&& im glad me and natalie are kind of getting along now

its only taken 8 months :)

were silly! rofl.

r.i.p mr gately

:( as if he died. im gutted

he might have been gay but i was well in love him with him when i was like 10!

bad times.

i was horrid last night

i went for tea at my mums then went to my grandmas

i came home and slept.

i was supposed to be going out with danny for a bit, then off to this dubstep night at fever

when i woke up at 11.30 i couldnt be arsed doing anything.

all i did was mong out and finally watch the end of pearl harbour :)

i woke up this morning and ate a whole banoffee pie for breakfast.

im not a right fatty.

going swimming tomorrow. finallllly gonna start dieting.

im sick of putting up with my fat self. who's gonna ever fancy me looking the way i do?

:( i wanna be a skinny minnie.

and i need to sort my hair out. finally. all turquoise (L) yummeh.

work tonighttt. i pure fucking cba. im not in the mood at all.

fuck it.

im in a foul mood and ive had a foul week.

im just foul right now.

a public question.

natalie burgoyne hornby:

i told Anthony that i'd ask you myself.

and considering i cannot ask you on myspace of facebook

because you've blocked me, and i don't have your phone number

and i know you read my blog.

i thought asking you on here would be the best option.

would you and anthony like to come to my halloween party

if i have one?

yes it will be awkward, and yes, one of us will probably get upset.

but i'm gonna stop being a selfish bitch and do what he wants for once.

because as well as you, i love him! he's my best friend in the entire world.

and you're a part of his life.

so if you wanna come then you can..

leeeedsssss

so yeah. i found the memory card with my leeds pics on it

so theyre now on facebook for the world to enjoy :)

i'l treat you on here to :)

new mod

i want my clit pierced.

and im going to get it done next week

yay :)

man love.

ive been talking on msn

and weve been discussing our perfect guys.

mine ended up as

tall. nice eyes. piercings. ink. a bit dirty ;). someone who could throw me about.

skinny jeans or 3/4's. would take me to the pub. isn't ashamed of me. is funny.

can make me laugh without saying anything. will drive me anywhere at anytime just for the hell of it.

will do shots with me then carry me home. will let me dye my hair whatever color. isnt bothered about drugs. 

will chat shit with me on the phone for hours. and god knows what else.

i dont ask for much :) ahhhaaaa.

family fun!

im currently updating from my nan & grandads house

my grandad currently has his face in a scanner trying to get some pictures of my cousins

hes just realised he didnt have his glasses on. rofl.

silly grandad! :)

just been out for tea with my dad, it wasnt the most exciting thing in the world

but it was nice to catch up and have a bitch session with him for once :)

hahaha i miss them times.

ive well just typed all this without looking at the keyboard :)

well impressed with myself! :D :D

im easily amused.

so: yesterday

bad bad bad times

but then good good good times aswell :)

i dont like guys with foot fetishes! they lick me

eww.

then me and danny had a good sort-out chat :)

supernatural <3

i dont know which one id fuck first.

oh my goddddddd.

i fell in love with these men the first episode i watched

but by christ, the more i watch, the more i want. phwaorrrrrr 

yummeh ;)

i fucking love supernatural.

bad weekend.

welll. sunday was a treat

between having to deal with the biggest cunt in the world and getting punched

it was a fun night =/

had some fun chat with people and enjoyed ourselves in the midst.

yesterday was fun.

besides being mega mega hungover

and eating far too much, and chatting far too much shit.

and watching gash telly!

school of silence? wtf. CBBC has fucking shit kids tv programmes!

unreal.

then came 5 rounds of snooker, then some drag racing

and fuck knows what else in between.

i fell asleep for like an hour! rofl. i was mashed!

then came the bestest film ever.

he denied it, but he loved it :) rofl.

i think he almost shed a tear! :D ahhhaaaaa.

and now for today, i crawled home at 10am (again)

and ive been on the couh for the past 7 and a half hours watching supernatural and eating junk food!

i need a shower.

but the cats shit in the bath again. i fucking hate that spastic animal!

st helens upon sea :)

well. i ended up in blackpool at midnight last night

tom picked me up at 10.30 and drove to southport

decided southport was shit

and drove to blackpool to see the illuminations.

good times. but he wouldnt steal me the massive disco ball!

gutted.

but there was laurence-llewlyn bowen in the illuminations

gutted! rofl. we had a rate good laugh

between being freezing, getting lost in the back alleys and finding the weirdest pub ever

i had fun times :)

was a good waste of 2 and a half hours.

but now. its sunday :D rofl.

and biz is on her way and im sat here in a cut up teeshirt and doing shots on my own

tits out ;) ahhhaaaa.

bad start to any of my nights out.

and i won £120 on a bandit today. first time on one :D

so we'll be getting fucked up tonight.

hopefully natalie will be joining us after work and antz after he's been seeing natalie/she's been round his/dunno rofl. :)

messy fucking timesssssss :D

as long as its not a repeat of 2 weeks ago i'll be fine ;)

possibly can afford narcotics tonight aswell.

i shall update tomorrow with hopefully. some messy fucking pictures.

if i remember to take any!

nuggets

well. friday friday friday

got dropped off at tesco in hindley at like 9 to meet bizzle

where i ended up getting i.d'ed! not fucking happy.

cheeky bint. stood there covered in tattoo's and i got fucking. arfhh! annoyed lol

so we went to madisens where the party was. £3 for a fucking pint of cider and black.

wtf?

i ended up dancing to the time warp like a right prick!

:) then we got a taxi to town to pick up bizzles phone 

then onward to lux :)

where i ended up nearly ripping gaz's throat out.

trying to be my best mate then slagging me off. fuck off. cunt.

grrr.

i just ended up getting drunk and sitting, falling asleep in indiependence

and then feeding warren chicken nuggets at like 7am this morning while he was asleep

i did make a video but it wont let me bluetooth..

on my way home i had to stop off at my mums to throw up.

i couldn't make it all the way home and i didnt wanna throw up on someones car!

ahhhaaa 

i got in and slept until like 5.30 in the afternoon

got up. got dressed and went to tescos to buy prawns for the turtles.

theyre happy now im not feeding them leaves :)

my shopping consisted off glittery eyeliner, prawns, crisps, hot chocolate, washing powder, shampoo, mouthwash and party rings :)

im such a sensible shopper.

then maccies on the way home for a hangover cure.

im supposed to be going out again tonight.

but i dont think theres a chance of that happening.

i am far too tired to even consider drinking or getting ready.

supernatural boxset and hot chocolate for me (L)

im gerrin' old!

this week

has been shit

ive spent the majority of it in bed feeling sorry for myself

and working

and i found indie boy and his brother. yet again :)

if he wasnt 16 id be in love with him.

he's the sweetest guy ever. soooo adorable :)

i wanna keep him on my shelf and feed him peas (L)

ahhhaaa. i gotta work tomorrow 12-8.

and i dont think im working at indiependence.

so im off out i think.

and saturday too with my ladies.

and on sunday i gotta work 12-7 with an awful hangover!

roll on the weekend.

i swore

that this picture would never get published on the internet.

but when i found it in my recycle bin

i have never laughed so hard in my life

amy im sorry.

but it had to be done.

i love how you dont even care until you'd realised what id done :D

iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you 

Cause I know that you feel me somehow 

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be 

And I don't want to go home right now 

And all I can taste is this moment 

And all I can breathe is your life 

Cause sooner or later it's over 

I just don't want to miss you tonight 

And I don't want the world to see me 

Cause I don't think that they'd understand 

When everything's made to be broken 

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming 

Or the moment of truth in your lies 

When everything seems like the movies 

Yeah you bleed just to know your alive 

And I don't want the world to see me 

Cause I don't think that they'd understand 

When everything's made to be broken 

I just want you to know who I am 

I don't want the world to see me 

Cause I don't think that they'd understand 

When everything's made to be broken 

I just want you to know who I am 

I just want you to know who I am 

it came on shuffle and i burst out crying

this will never not fail to make me cry. ever (L)

prestonia, being erica and drag racing

well, i didnt end up staying for long in preston

mat had split up with his gf and that would have been awkward staying over

and then he had lectures this morning

so we went to starbucks where we chatted on for hours and hours

then we went to waterstones where i bought a book on christian theology :)

then we went to wetherspoons for a beverage

:) then i ended up going home because he some uni stuff to do

gahh i miss him

then danny text me and we ended up at ants house with jo

which was nice. we were watching hollyoaks later & then being erica

we are rebels.

i ended up staying out and i woke up to the sound of xbox and drag racing

i pure passed out in bed

and was woken up by a day to remember screaming at me :)

so now im back at home and im going back to bed before i have to go feed the dog at my mums

& work laterr :(

disco's & mousse

ive sat here for an hour eating chocolate mousse and disco's

fatty fatty fatty

:)

i love being me on lazy days

i ate a mousse with my fingers just after id took my nailvarnish off

that was a taste sensation! :(

rofl.

so yeah. its like 1.30.

and im supposed to be in preston for about 3ish.

and ive not even had a shower and packed my shit yet! ahhaa

i think id better hop to it

fuck this

so yeah. i only did 2 things on my list.

but to be fair. finding out your best mate has been twated by her boyfriend

who's been locked up for assault and domestic violence

it kinda gives me a reason not to go to work and not to do my list.

i worry so much about her its unreal.

so while nat was in work i went for tea at bizzles

and talked to her dad about jimmi hendrix and LSD :)

then i went to see nat quite early on and i just kept her and the new girl company.

she's a rate laugh.

so, its now midnight

and im gonna pack my bag for tomorrow then watch the notebook with ice cream

i cant wait to get away from this place. even if its just for 1 day.

i miss mat and im sick of being here

oh, and i came home tonight being accused of stealing from amanda now.

because she left her bag in my room the other night while i was in work

i was in fucking work. and i didnt even know she'd left it in my room until i came home

to a note on my door asking to leave it outside her door.

anyone could have got to that bag,

but ohhhhh no, only fucking beki could have stole it!

i cannot fucking wait to get out of this place. im so fucked off.

i need a proper cuddle. off anyone.

i need a good cry :( just someone who gives a shit.

to just let me cry and release everything.

im sick of bottling up all my shit when theres no need for it.

i should have that someone whos there for me.

and i dont.

things to do today

1. clean out the turtles.

2. pluck the facial caterpillars.

3. shower

4. pack bag for Preston :)

5. find out train times

6. take off, buff & paints nails

7. tidy up my entire room

8. go buy turtle food

9. get rid of all the empty booze bottles hanging around & take rubbish out

10. change bedding

11. run round to mums for clean washing & give her my dirty washing

12. sort my greasssssy skin out

13. sit of facebook for the rest of the day after having some sleep

abuse

so yeah. after going to sleep around 5.30 this morning

im woken up by a text of nat at 6.30 telling me shes off her face in some guys house

then awoken AGAIN at 10.15 by billy screaming down the phone at me.

because i sent nat a text saying "fuck him, come out with me"

he needs to get off his high fucking horse and sort himself out.

& i realllly need to clean out my turtles, for i fear they hate me...

i need to tell someone how i feel!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :D

i told nat and shes wellllll chuffed.

i cant even announce it on here

because people bloody spy! and tell everyone everything else

oh & i am going to rip gaz bastard gruseome's face off!

keep chatting shit about me sweetheart

i'll love the consequences :)

im stuck in this fucking rut

waiting on a secondhand pick me up

getting olderrrrrrr (L)

:)

i love that songggg

*i loved tonight. i worked 8-12.45ishh.

tom turned up about 9.30 and waited for me until we'd finished

had a few drinks at the boulevard with nataliebeann :)

then went to indiependence and met billy.

just had a few drinks and stuff. was a nice night. :)

best ive had in a while.

i hate how i feel. i feel so guilty. i like him a little bit too much*

im sick of watching all the minutes pass while i go nowhere!

christ..

well i woke up at 4.30

so about 10 minutes ago, with a lux & indiependence stamp imprinted onto my face

sexy times! ahhhaaa :)

i woke up to the sound of my turtles trying to escape the tank.

i dunno wtf them 2 are up to, but theyve not been eating or anything

im gonna have to take them to the vet..

my shoulder is killinggggg me so badly, and the top of my spine.

and im starving.

and i feel like utter shite. :(

and i gotta go to work at 8. and i dont wanna.

its only until 12 but i still dont wannaaaaaaa. im tired as fuckkkk.

but if its gets me some dollar so i can go see Mat on monday that'd be awesome :)

im so excited to go see him, i havent seen him for like months and months and forever :(

gonna get drunk and catch up on stuff :) oh how i miss him.

so now, im gonna haul some pants on and go to the chippy. again.

ahhhaa and get me some breakfast/dinner/meal/whatever 

because im insides hate me right now :)

buhbyeeee

rollin' in with the milkman

so yeah. its like 6.30 in the morning

after paying antz, tara and erm.. some guy tara was with

i bought them all a drink and they all fucked off smoking for half an hour.

fun times.

where i was left dancing with some tosser to avril lavigne.

although i did have a fun time at work. and got some fun pictures :)

i pretty much feel wank.

so im gonna go to bed, and deal with all this shit when i can be arsed getting out of bed tomorrow.

msn spaces

so right yeah.

this girl pops up on msn yesterday

asking if i was bi, when i said yeah. she bombarded me with messages

telling me how much she would like to "stick a dildo in my ass"

and then sent me these ;)

ive pulled. ROFL

i thought she was hot until i got sent these::

i dont think shes my type ;)

personally. i dont even think it looks like the same person.

&& she has very weird nipples...

:/

growing up and growing old.

emma's 20 today.

i now know that my birthday is closing in too.

i dont wanna ever be 20. i think i can handle 21, 22 etc.

but 20. does that mean i have to grow up?

i know ive moved out and im independent, but it doesnt mean i have to grow up

surely?

:(

and once again im at work. sitting at the bar updating my blog

doesnt say much about the pub. its paying out more in wages than its earning.

im bored fuckless.

and i finish at 8. only to start at indiependence at 11 until 3am. bad times.

i cannot be bothered. i know i'll enjoy it when i get there.

but im just so tired.

and im back behind this bar for 2 hours tomorrow. wtf? i need sleeeeeeeep.

i dunno whats going on anymore. i wish things could be easier..

water lillies

i am utterly in love with this film.

tip of the day::

dont watch porn at work.

it doesnt help boredom.

it gives you filthy ideas..

;)

pikature updateee